My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
