my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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