You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
