Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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