I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
