just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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