ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
