we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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