Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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