Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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