Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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