Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
