Nicole vs. Life
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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