as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
