Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
