so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
