I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
