stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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