why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize