i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
