Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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