no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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