Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
