Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize