Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
