How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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