I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
