I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize