I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
wanna go halves on a baby?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
