The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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