listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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