Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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