she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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