Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
