either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
