well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
