I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
