why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
