im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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