i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
