He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
