I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
