Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
