You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
