I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
