That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think my moral compass just broke
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
