My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
