I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
