sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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