I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
