tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
