Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
