I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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