well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
