Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
