Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
